What Color Should Your Taint Be?

19.09.2010 Phonsavan. Laos.

In 7 am the owner of a small desk rental bike is meaningless at the empty bottle Kirishi distillery Leningrad area and as I entered eagerly reported that yesterday in his closet was "Very, Very Beautiful Blonde Khair Rushen Lady", has taken on a bike and ebanula 40-degree blazing sun 70 kilometers, which does not fit into the system of the universe Laotian citizen. "I slept all day after 15 hours of night moving, swept through my cheek stingy man's tears of disappointment.

Xen Khuan Province is famous for its stone jugs scattered in 90 places, from 1 to 400 pieces, many tens of kilometers on the hilltops. Due to the lack of biological remains, age monoliths, not exactly known, presumably 2000 years ago, it is not clear and the true purpose of stone vessels.

In the first version, the jugs were stored the ashes of their dead ancestors, burned nearby in a cave on the second, a water storage vessels and the third, a pitcher is nothing but moonshine production "Lao-lao" Laotian wine stronghold about 30 degrees.

None of these versions can not be considered seriously, since it remains unclear why were required so much effort, if all could be done much easier. Unknown is also a way of manufacturing, whether pitchers were cut either sandstone either collected from cement, sand, water and cow dung. Solid puzzle.

Michael Kozhukhov with two fighters operators, was simple, benevolent man with lung boduntsa. They worked very quickly and professionally filmed a scene from one, a maximum of two takes, and texts cause genuine interest.

Michael, looking at my baseball cap with the word "Colombia", said he was in this country while still a correspondent already back in 1993, much has already faded from memory, but one thing he would never forget: "Every second Colombian - beauty queen," confided he told me, and then romantically thoughtfully looked over, sighed and added, already known to you from me about this phrase "This is fucked up!".

And then I was struck by a very brilliant idea "Let's, Michael, for all Russian men for the holiday ... Imagine ... "with enthusiasm I began, "the average Russian man wakes up on February 23, at noon, after yesterday's corporate party, my head is cracking, you do not want to live ... fragments of memories ... tolstozhopye buhgaltershi, sending another batch of salad fork into something a little above the triple chin, sexy dancing a la the six, pressed her immense boobs ... "You really like me, Waldemar", leaving the face aspirated cheap lipstick ... I want to live less and less ... somewhere nearby, in a formless haystack liquid hair moaned wife, also after a corporate party, and painted and painted a terrible terrible ... ouououou vixen ... a man ready to immediately shoot and this time with the TV voice Michael Kozhukhova:

«Tired of living this life? dream of going to paradise? There is a place on earth I'm in Cali, Colombia. It's fucked up, dear viewers! "And non-stop with a second Avenida, Friday evening, life-style rumba, and you do nothing, just turn the camera right on the sidewalk and write in a row all mimoprohodyaschih goddesses. And yet .... a man's eyes bulging, breath quickened intermittent, drool bubbles to the knee, the interest for a full life. "
Michael promised to think about.

Vip Briefcase No. Lock

announcement. I was a yogi in India. Rishikesh. India

experiments on the expansion of consciousness, started with eating magic mushrooms in Indonesia in 2006 and continued for meditation in a Buddhist monastery in northern Thailand in 2008, almost did not end tragically hallucinogenic cactus from the Indians in the Amazon jungle in 2010, but at the last minute I changed my mind, thinking that consciousness should be expanded in a natural way, and not trite poisoning organism unknown popular science poisons. However, I still go back. Therefore the next logical step in the knowledge of unknown corners of consciousness has been the study of yoga in itself that neither is it the world capital of the Indian city of Rishikesh. To be continued ...

Sores On Bearded Dragons

11.10.2009 Albany. Western Australia

What continue to move inland, the less goes public transport, for this reason, in Albany I had to hang as much as 4 full days, was complicated by Storms and torrential rains.

city was founded in 1826, when the brig sailed here «Amity» ("Friendship") to establish dominance over Aborigines, 3 years earlier than in Perth that olbantsy do not get tired to stress, showing pertyaevtsam language on occasion. So now in Albany all the "Amity" - taxis private security company, an insurance company. A replica of the brig was erected on the waterfront, I look at these wooden troughs and marvel at how they can had to swim from Europe through three oceans.

Right in the heart of the city on the waterfront is going to border patrol boat for a fishing penguin-illegals riding to work on the farm to collect the strawberries and cherries. Detailed examination of the construction site has not detected any Uzbeks - poor Australians are doing everything themselves.

Unlike villages such as Pemberton, Volpoula and Denmark and resort Resort Dunsborough and Busselton, Albany, with its 30,000 inhabitants, real city, where even there is one main street of York Street, stretching between two hills (Melville 157m and 186m Clarence) and a commercial district with huge mall.

What I do not like in Australia - on any hill or viewing platform is well-paved road and there it is possible to drop even for campers, lost all the romance and self-worth climbing.

After the Battle-shop library is the most visited place in the country. Equipped with air conditioning, saving you from debilitating midday heat, free internet access, a scanner, a printer for a small coin, seatings and sofas, as well as the entire stacks of guides Lonely planet Australian production, to produce further route.

the opening of the the door is going to an impressive crowd of readers with the city and from all the surrounding farms, three employees behind the counter are worn all day as a squirrel in a cage, serving enormously long line of readers. Library of Australia is not only a source of knowledge, but also a place of social intercourse of the population living in the homes of individual building and not seeing any relatives or friends, or neighbors for weeks.

development of new technologies in the country prevent vast distances and propensity of Australians spend every spare moment in nature, and not at the computer. If in Asia, each grown out of diapers child has a mobile phone of the last generation, the Australian teen gets Mobil gift at best age. "We are the last place on the development of the Internet in the world ", cried to me one Australian. "Well, last but not least because," I hastened to console him, "there's still the Niger."

When you travel for a year is necessary to periodically arrange fasting days of Sightseeing - watch TV, read books, talk on the Internet with home, shop, cook something complicated, such as steak kengurinogo meat, because the kangaroo is not only a convenient handbag warm gloves and a beautiful soft fapochka, but 30-40 pounds easily digestible diet of meat. «Kangaroo meat - healthy choice".

Albany endpoint 963 (Nine sixty-three) Bibalman kilometer track (Bibbulmun) stretching from Perth. Every 200 meters of track are marked with a pointer to a column of distances, each 20 kilometers trehstennye shelters, toilets and tanks with drinking water, as well as free gas barbekyushnitsy.

Along the way, you can always hang a few days in some small town, restock food at the supermarket and move on or put up a tent on the very long and deserted beach Goode Beach National Park Torndirrup, where white sand on which it is impossible to watch because of the glare of the sun, such as flour creaks underfoot.

On average, the passage of the entire track takes a lifetime of 55-60 days.

Donate Blood If I Have Fungus

15.04.2010 Turn off the TV, start living life. Valparaiso. Chile

One hundred and fifty years ago, Pacific town of Valparaiso, in those days the main port in South America, witnessed mass "here come in large numbers" of immigrants from all over Europe. Settlers brought with them pieces of Paris, Rome or London, everyone was asleep in his neighborhood were playing for their football club, and after ate their booze in their pubs, on Sundays to pray in their churches and died in their cemeteries.

Since they were very poor, then their homes painted paint residues spizhennoy vyproshennoy the sailors, so the houses in town were multicolored bright. And since then, and has become a tradition here.

It was founded by the oldest Hispanic newspaper in the world, the first stock exchange in the continent, was born a democratically elected president Salvador Allende and Augusto Pinochet of his executioner.

City sandwiched a narrow strip between the ocean and mountains, multi-colored brightly painted houses with natural painted graffiti on the walls descends steps from all the surrounding hills.

Unless you approach closely and did not touch his hand, not even a clear picture or reality. The most famous artistic masterpiece, which became the motto of all spiritual valparaistsev - installation Apaga tele, Vive tu vida («Turn off the TV, start living the life").

Monument surrounded by bars and barbed wire, so that no one has deprived honorable citizens of this unique statue of liberty.

Hills in the city is so steep that residents raised them in special infernal machine - cable car, built 100 years ago and is still operating. Price per trip length 55 meter fixed municipality in the 6 rubles.

El Peral funicular, built in 1902, the daily transports 500. While a cabin rises, another falls.

Other prehistoric dinosaurs of the transport department of Valparaiso, trolley, put in metal in France and transported to Chile for the afterlife.

In the second half of XX century the city was fucked decadence. The ships turned away from him toward the Panama Canal, all honorable citizens of the criminal sebalis dirty port of Valparaiso the nearby sparkling resort of Viña del Mar, well-appointed apartment species and personal villas,

and Valparaiso left to plunder lustful drunken sailors with moored ocean-going vessels, free-thinking students and tourists who stopped by from Santiago on a day trip. They say the New Year is the grandest fireworks display in all of Latin America.

I planned to spend the afternoon and stayed for five wandering through the narrow and steep streets, along obosannyh walls of houses, inhaling the atmosphere of immense immigrant freedom, stepping carefully between the piles of dog shit and enthusiastically looking around, if not for Sydney, which blew my head off once and for all,

I would call the most romantic Valparaiso cities on the planet.

I'm A Woman With Stomach Hair

16.04.2010 will not catch us. Valparaiso. Chile

25.05.1810 - Proclamation of Independence of Argentina
20.07.1810 - Proclamation of Independence of Colombia
16.09.1810 - Proclamation of Independence Mexico
18.09.1810 - Proclamation of Independence of Chile
Meanwhile in the castle at Chef in Europe drink beer
12.10.1810 - The first Oktoberfest in Munich

gathered such as Argentina to Chile to decide how to celebrate anniversaries, to not just the usual nazhremsya in the shit official ceremonies, but to remain in memory people, and decided to stir up the regatta which invited all comers, well, except for Paraguay and Bolivia, which, in due time, they themselves out to the ocean and deprived.

gathered 12 participants - "La Esmeralda» Chile , «HS Elcano » Spain ,« Capitan Miranda » Uruguay ,« Europe Netherlands , «Libertad» Argentina , «Chisna Branco» Brazil , «Cuauhtémoc» Mexico , «Gloria» Columbia , «Simon Bolivar» Venezuela , «Sagres" Portugal and Guayas » Ecuador . American participants of the regatta frigate «Eagle» U.S. join this sharazhke in Cartagena, Colombia in mid-May.

Sailing Regatta to start in the Brazilian Rio de Janeiro, 31.01.2010, symbolic rounding Cape Horn and ceremonial finish line in Mexico in late June 2010 with two competitive level who have the eggs are ringing louder, the Atlantic - from Rio to Argentina's Mar del Plata and the Pacific - between the Chilean city Talcahuano and Valparaiso.

All the rest of time is devoted to the show and measurement pipiskami before tolstozhopymi townsfolk with beer abdomen - the solemn parade on the roads, the performance of ship brass bands, visit slender columns Port brothels where already gathered Prostitutes from across the continent, and, as expected, drunken fights to krovischi and closed the jaws in the taverns with local cattle.

Both regatta as was intended originally, won in an honest and hard fight, "the organizers of the holiday, Argentina and Chile, which were simply the most powerful vessel.

I also had a regatta with a race with serious, because the caravan had gone for 2 days before my arrival in the southernmost city of Ushuaia planet through 10 days in Chile Punta Arenosa I missed exactly one day, then redrew the plans, became leaders and crossed the finish line in Valparaiso as much as 3 days before anyone else.

Audience Award in Chile unconditionally received a Mexican boat, sparkling with colored lights at night and fiery dances under the fervent Mexican motifs, and all went on deck shook hands with a real captain, smiling from ear to ear Mexican macho head and shoulders below the current president of Russia.

special delight Chilean inhabitants caused the prison form of Mexican sailors and from an open window on the galley deck flowed magnificent scents, and I immediately wanted to Mexico.

Mom Made Me Kiss Her Foot

Secret around the world:)

Good time of day, Dear!
accidentally discovered in his mobile phone video! There himself wrote my son Zakhar- short-Lips Baby verb truth:)
It was very interesting to watch it .... What about you?

Meaning Factory Seconds

18.12.2010 «Not Cheshi Honduras - he will" (an old Russian proverb). Bangkok. Thailand

the first working day of the new week I had to solve two technical charades - to repair, flowing every two minutes suspended animation in the non-refundable, laptop, and wash camera from sprawling all over the lens of the black spots that are favorably formed in the fertile soil of me as a novice photographer inferiority complex, or buy new.

Google squeezed onto the screen a list of service partners ASUS and Panasonic in some unimaginable Bangkok zazhopyah and I sighed heavily, from the inevitability of carrying out such jobs went to "Night Watch", or hiking with a sexual bias to whom somehow ...

Head of the department receiving the service center ASUS greeted the birth of the dark box bedolagi Laptop Backpack Accounting greeting:
- «800 rubles!»
- «Well, I nodded.
- «From five to seven days."
- «Well, I nodded.
- «What worries us?" Finally moved to action by stealth.

By many empirical observations I have been logically deduced that the inflow of suspended animation unit correlates with the movement of this demonic machines in space. Of course, the absolute certainty I did not have, but in practice almost (two words) has proved that a cockroach without legs can not hear.
- «That works," and, turning the laptop into the air, "now is not working!", I outlined the problem.
- «Shaman, however, admired Madame," I'll show you our computer guru. "

- «The Master said, the keyboard is broken," firmly diagnosed priemschitsa came back.
- «How keyboard ???!!!», I already choked. Even my impotent computer education, acquired at a screen pop-eyed ISKRA-1030 back in his university years, enough to understand - the killer can be anyone, just not the gardener.
- «A tachped?", I retorted, "does not work!" And curled up funny faces, showed taiko language.

- «And tachped broken" - not at all embarrassed busily concluded that.
- «Ahuet!!! Slowly slid off the chair I was under the table, along the way figure out how much it cost me half of the replacement of the visible part of the book. By However, if 5 days I still like it enough, then 7 days later I was in India, but to say definitely how many days are required for the repair of exactly Nobody could.
- «Fools all of you here, I politely said goodbye and headed to the next level of this quest games - the service center Panasonic.

Covered a thick layer of dust Panasonic Service Center located at the side of multiband and Avenue was blocked up to the ceiling by some prehistoric cluster VCRs, fax and telephone office with indelible stains of dirt, so that even give space for the operation precision cleaning the lens Camera of German company with a Russian name Leica was somehow ssykotno.

Master and attach to your ear the camera and rolling his eyes blissfully as krasnodiplomnik student of the Moscow Conservatory with the tongue-Jewish name at the sound of Bach's suites, listened to several times the noise travelers subject lens and revealed the sentence "860 rubles, and after two come to pick up!".

- «Friday?", Not believing his good fortune, I said (remember, that was Monday).
- «Why on Friday? Today, after two hours, well, if you hurry, you can sit here and we will clean for you ", which aroused my unbridled desire to enter into deal immediately and according to Christian tradition to kiss the culprit triumph thrice. But the cold calculation, innate skepticism and disbelief According to the Asian precision chilled my mind.
- «And if I do not like?" I made it a condition.
- «Do not like it, can not pay", suggested techniques, what finally convinced me in their magic magic.

Meanwhile, without solving the problem with the laptop in the body, which is designed to solve all these problems, I sent their foot in the computer center "Pantip Plaza", that type of Moscow pink salmon to Thai masters of self-taught. After long walks in my opinion stopped at a large service center, where the main ochumeltsy country proudly strolled in identical white robes with the company's color applique on the breast pocket like Andrei Aleksandrovich Bakhmet'eva from the TV program "So far, all at home."

- «I can not understand what the reason, whether in hardware, or Vindouz hiccup" abstrusely summed up the local computer nerd, flannel wiping cloth glasses.
chances for favorable resolution of a problem situation evaporates from each minute.
- «Damn, these are the same, I break and restarting the laptop, entered the BIOS, after a couple of manipulations in the space once again hopelessly hung his little black pisyuna. «Software - no, computer - fucked up!" I described the emotional crux of the problem.

Botany smiled, looked at each other and whispering, chose the bravest, who immediately escorted me to another center, along the way explaining what they are, are not real welders, and so, here color-blanch.

Hairy monster in the corporate suit, astronaut series "Star Wars" with obvious displeasure, turned his head away from the huge pirsingovanuyu LSD Monitor breaking away from a most crucial mission to save humanity from the virtual enslavement of carnivorous aliens and issued a slurred interrogative: "Cho shit?»

busily expanding on the table problem, I pressed the hidden button, wait for boot windows, turned the machine in the air, nothing ... has not happened, the laptop refused to hang. Winking goblins, making it clear that he focus is ahead, I grabbed this little nasty black Korobchenko and began to shake her violently in the air. The computer continued to work ...

Goblin, forgetting his crushing laser blaster and monsters with Alpha Centauri, opening his mouth with a ring on the lower lip, watching with interest what is happening as Vova Pupkin, 4 years on Christmas party at the kindergarten, "Strawberry" waiting for Grandpa Frost would get from his bottomless bag of magic for him personally a great racing machine is bright red.

I ran across the floor, on the run closing and opening the lid, throwing the machine up, spun him in a dashing waltz rhythm, which would have envied all the known characters of the Ice Age, headed by Tatyana Tarasova, who would call me personally to enter into a contract to participate in the show in a couple of Tanya Navka ... Laptop does not like to hang out categorically ...

camera I was given a receipt for exactly 2 hours, the lens shone and sparkled in the sun. Live immediately felt better, life has become merrier.